yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize