They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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