So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
