Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
