My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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