She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i now understand why vodka
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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