did you get engaged???
...so i touched it.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
