She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
