I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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