her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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