We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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