Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize