tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
