please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
