I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
