you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
