Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
