Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
