I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
