that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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