I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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