I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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