Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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