I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
