look no pants
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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