Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
