I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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