By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
