Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize