Define "chronic" masturbator.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
