She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
