who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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