i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
