so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
