I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
