hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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