Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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