when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
