Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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