She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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