Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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