You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
