sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
