This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
