You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I need a burrito and a hug.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
