I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
