can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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