i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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