We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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