kristin has been a bad kristin
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
