Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
