fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
