I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
