There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
