i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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