just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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