So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
