dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize