he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize