there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's great music for shaving your balls
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
