I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
