...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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