belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
