C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
