I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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