I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
"it" just moved
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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